Welcome, 2016! We Promise To Floss!

Warning: this post is a little bit informal.


Ah, 2015 – you were quite swell. Thanks for the memories. But hey, memories are only as good as they are useful.

Be honest, readers: you didn’t floss as much as you darn near should have! Am I right?

Flossing is vital to your oral health. Do you want to challenge this statement? It must be done in conjunction with brushing (before or after– doesn’t really matter!) to be an effective preventative measure against tartar and bacterial accumulation.

So here’s what I say: FLOSSING MORE should be everyone’s sub-resolution. I mean, make your New Year’s Resolution and all, but tack this in for bonus points. I know, I know. You’ll go for a solid week full of ‘fresh year, fresh start’ optimism and then completely drop the ball. Like me. I have a fix for all you New Year’s Resolution forgetter’s… Ready?


Step 1: Write it down

Anywhere. Jot it down on a piece of paper, paint it on a canvas, whatever. Just put it into the universe in a real, tactile form.

Step 2: Tell somebody

Get someone to hold you accountable for putting these things into the universe. Preferably somebody not too forgiving.

Step 3: Systems, Pt. 1

I mean, set it up. Here’s what I’d love to see (albeit quite unrealistically): Type up your Resolution, print it out, frame it, and hang it in a place that is completely obscene within your place of dwelling, somewhere you cannot avert your gaze from.

Step 4: Systems, Pt. 2

This is the follow-through. Check in with yourself every week or couple of weeks or month. You’ve got a smart phone, get to it! If not, I promise a calendar or agenda works just fine. Get your confidante to do the same. Preferably somebody not too forgetful. Or forgiving.

Step 5: Succeed

In the infinitely wise words of Shia LeBeouf and Nike: JUST DO IT.


Oh yeah, and then the flossing thing… I would just Google “Gingivitis,” print it out, and tape it to your bathroom mirror. Like this:

And that was one of the more gentle images on the web. Just sayin’



BOOM. That’s how to survive your New Year’s Resolution.

You’re welcome.


In any case, thanks for reading, and I wish you the best of luck in your New Year endeavours!

2016, we’re ready!!

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